


Pancakes

by Aerest



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-02
Updated: 2018-02-02
Packaged: 2019-03-12 16:16:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 829
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13550994
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aerest/pseuds/Aerest
Summary: Of pancakes and love.





	Pancakes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Isola_Caramella](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Isola_Caramella/gifts), [hardlyfatal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/hardlyfatal/gifts).



> Friday Fast Fic Challenge! Prompt: "pancakes", by hardlyfatal.  
> I failed the "fast" part, but managed the "Friday" - yay me! :-)
> 
> Thanks to IsolaCaramella for creating the challenge, and to CTippy, my brilliant beta.

Brienne awoke to the smell of pancakes.  
It took her a moment to fully comprehend her whereabouts, to get her mind awake enough to finally remember: She was in her new bed, in her new bedroom, in her new house.

Theirs.  
Hers and Jaime's.

Carefully, moving her body as little as possible to not wake him up, she turned around to face … Jaime's empty pillow.  
A sharp pang of fear, pain, insecurity rushed through her, until she got her mind back under control.  
Pancakes. It smelled like pancakes. He was still there. He was preparing breakfast. For her. A breakfast she loved.

With a sigh Brienne rolled onto her back, facing the ceiling.  
What madness had ridden her to give in to Jaime's luring, argumenting, pleading, teasing? Yes, over the years their relationship had proven to be more stable than she would have ever thought. But moving in together?

Jaime had started asking soon after they had finally shared their first shy, searching kiss, catapulting their longstanding friendship into chaos, leaving them between chances and fears. His gaze as insecure as her heart, his hand grabbing hers a little too tightly, their mutual surprise when she had kissed him back, flushed red, breathless, scared and excited at the same time.  
But how could she have trusted him? With her life, always. But with her heart?

She had said no. On this occasion. On many other occasions. Too many reasons to doubt, too many dangers ahead, too little ground to trust on. She needed her own flat. A safe space to retreat to, to tend to the wounds she'd surely acquire. Her hideaway.

How could she know he was sincere? His words, his eyes, his deeds, all willed her to believe in him, in what they had and were together. But knowing who she was, knowing her history with men, knowing how people judged her looks, she kept struggling to believe anyone could ever love her - _I love you, Brienne_ , he had said! - and be sincere about it.

She had left. She had actually left. Removed her hand from his, turned her back to him, grabbed her things and left. She couldn't take this. She couldn't accept this. She couldn't let herself be vulnerable enough to consider believing him. She loved him, had loved him for years, but it was impossible that he could love her.

She had cried for days after this.

It had been a miracle that Jaime still wanted to see her.  
The bigger miracle had been that she had agreed to that.

Brienne placed her right hand onto the spot where her heartbeat was speeding up, thinking of Jaime.  
His hand had lain there during their first night together. First his hand, then his ear, listening to her heart talking to him, feeling his breath on her bare skin, then his hand again, while she had still been trying to understand what just had happened to her, to them, and what was about to continue.  
_Brienne, touch me_ , Jaime had whispered, and been so insecure when she had chosen his stump to caress first.  
Could the heart get muscle ache from too much love? Brienne had trained all her muscles, making the best of her unwomanly shape, but her heart.  
The muscle in charge of love.

She rolled her eyes at her own sappy, biologically incorrect thoughts.  
Turning to her side, resting on her elbow, she gazed out of the window. The endless sky, and birds traveling through it.

One day, she suddenly had been careless. She had felt safe in his arms, his laughter had rumbled through his body, she herself had been laughing, they were shaking, vibrating together, skin to skin, breath to breath, eye to eye. Lightness had gripped her, elevated her love for him above all fear.  
_Yes_ , she had said, and felt fragile in his ensuing crushing hug.

She and Jaime had argued for months about locations, space, luxury, costs, renting or buying, - and in the end it had been so easy, as both of them had felt drawn to this house. They had walked through it slowly, absent-mindedly pressing each other's fingers while taking in their surroundings. It had taken no more than a gaze between them to know that they agreed.

That's how it had always been between them: They could argue, bicker over the smallest, most ridiculous things. But as soon as it got serious, as soon as there was an importance attached to something, they agreed on the spot.  
  
Unless they were talking love.

Brienne felt a smile conquer her lips.  
After all these years she still struggled to believe in Jaime's attention, his care, his lust, his love.  
After all these years, trust was still the hardest thing for her.  
But after all these years… she finally felt inclined to accept that she was, indeed, happy. With Jaime. With herself. With their love.  
With their shared house.  
And with the prospect of having pancakes for breakfast.


End file.
